In the last 17 years, I don't think I have ever done a write-up or reflection of any form when it comes to Fathers' Day or Mothers' Day for that matter. But I thought it would be apt to write one.
My father was always strict on my brother and I. He was a no nonsense kind of guy and he raised both my brother and I using every strict means possible. I found my naughty and mischievous self always getting scolded or caned by him. I will always remember that I would try to hide the canes as we probably had around 8 canes strategically placed all around the house and 1 in the car. In the end, he would resort to using belts and rulers to exact his punishment which was inarguably much worst than the thin wooden cane. Yet, all this punishments and caning was necessary for me since I was a stubborn child who wouldn't listen. He always found creative ways to make sure teach me a lesson. Once, he brought me to the Police Station because I had used my Mother's Paypal account to pay for Online Credits for a game without her permission. He made me pack a few clothes, some towels, a bottle of soap and shampoo and drove me all the way to the Clementi Police Station in order to teach me a lesson. This will be one of the few experiences which I will never ever forget. Last year, we discussed this incident and he explained to me why he did that; he never wanted me to steal ever again and wanted to ensure that the incident would teach me that very lesson. And it did. It was traumatising and yet, effective. He did what was right and appropriate to teach me something I would never learn in the same way through a different method.
Well, that happened when I was 10 years old. When I moved onto Secondary School, it was a whole new set of problems which he faced with me. One of which was my lack of focus especially in the area of my studies. I often tried to take the shortest cut by doing minimal work and spending more time playing. Instead of completing my homework or studying, I would prefer to play first and do work after. He often needed to step in and intervene to ensure that I would put in my best work. This all went on until I hit Secondary 4 when I took my O Levels.
Then, his parenting style changed. He was no longer strict or firm with me. Instead, he let me roam free, allowed me to decide for myself how I wanted to live my own life. And his rationale: He couldn't continue to clamp down on my life because it was my life to live and it was mine to be responsible for. He couldn't impose his personal beliefs on my life because it was mine to live.
In the last 2 years, I probably learnt the most from him. He showed me what it meant to be a strong, firm but compassionate Christian. He showed me love that felt somewhat similar to that of the Lord's and he never failed to be there when I most needed him.
He was constantly filled with so much wisdom; he also gave me invaluable advice in approaching different situations in life and most importantly, he raised me to be a Child of God. He made sure that I live out a life which would honour God. We would constantly have debates over certain everyday Christian issues and we always stood on opposite sides. Often, there would be no clear winner. But every debate meant a fresh perspective. And every perspective, a new lesson. Most importantly, he allowed me to do the things I wanted. He never said that I had to be a doctor or made me pursue one kind of "successful" path. All he required of me was to do my very best. In the excellence he expected, he first showed me his true excellence, not just in his daily work but also in the other areas of service in his life (Sermons, BB, Other Boards,etc.)
He never expected/expects much from me except to give of my very best in the things that I did/do. Beyond any reasonable doubt, the Lord has truly worked through a simple-minded but yet sophisticated human being, my father. Happy Fathers' Day!
We rarely get photos together. It's either one with the whole family or one with Mum.
P.S. This article is not meant to be my way of saying thank you because this article just doesn't cut it. It is more of a reflection for me to see who and what God has blessed me with. He will see this article later :)
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