I chanced upon an article posted on Facebook entitled "Marifel: the woman who left her children behind to look after mine" As I was reading this article, it made me reflect about my own domestic helper who has been part of our family for almost 15 years. She has basically been with us ever since we came back to Singapore from the United States.
My family has moved from hall to hall, perhaps 3 times in the last 15 years. Each time, my parents would have a responsibility of taking care of the students of the hall we were living in. (This made my childhood interesting, living amongst and interacting with 20 year old students) This meant that my parents would try to prepare food, suppers and other snacks for the students during University Events or even having a small group of students over for a Christmas Dinner. Most of the time, my domestic helper would be the one preparing the food, learning some of the recipes my parents have been using for many years and then executing the cooking required. Sometimes, she would spend her off days (Sundays and Saturdays) to prepare for these meals so that my parents can focus on other pressing matters at work or at home. This sacrifice often went unnoticed but I realised it as I was reflecting about it. I saw how she would probably spend perhaps 10 off days a year in order to help out with the food (off days would eventually be replaced but that meant her plans with her friends would have to be postponed or rearranged).
On top of these off days, she was always the one to clean up after my brother and I. I must admit that my parents are pretty neat and rarely do they require any cleaning up. My brother and I are a whole different issue altogether. Often, we would leave our sleeping clothes on the floor because we need to rush out of the house for school or because we were simply too lazy. (Admittedly, my brother is more disorganised than I am) Yet, she would consistently pick up after us with occasional but justified frustration which we would shrug off all the time.
Maria Teresa Fernandez Aboy, my domestic helper would wake up at 6am in the morning in order to wake me up in time for school. I must say that one of the reasons that I have never been late for school is because she never fails to wake up at such an ungodly hour (respect to those who wake up at 5am) and prepare breakfast as well as prepare my School uniform. Many Singaporean children would have such an experience and yet, all these acts went unnoticed for a majority of our lives as students.
All these instances of small sacrifices are things I used to consider part of her job scope. But no, it is not her "job" to wake up at 530am in the morning, or to sacrifice her off days or to clean up after hard-to-cope-with boys (aka my brother and I). She has taught me a few things about being a loving person. She showed me things which I never really saw until opportune reflections were done.
I am constantly reminded through the Bible that I need to love my neighbours as myself and yet I never considered her a neighbour even though she stayed under the same roof as I did.
To end off this post, I remembered asking my parents why we never brought our helper out to join us for our birthday dinners and celebrations and my mother's answer was one that truly struck me. She never accepted the offer we gave to her. She never jumped on such "opportunities". She never needed to be shown such appreciation in this manner because she saw it as her 'job.'
It doesn't take much to thank her and yet, I have always found it difficult to say thank you. I hope not to use this blog post as my way of saying thank you but as a reminder for who and what I have been truly blessed with my whole life by the Father who truly loves me.
P.S. A post for my parents would be done up on another day but for now, I leave you with this post. I do not have a photo of her at present but one day, when I do get it, I will post it up:)
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