What is God to us?

I was doing my Devotions yesterday night and I came across Zechariah 7. As I read it, there were so many things I could pick out from just that short few 14 verses. Below is an extract from the Chapter.

4 Then the word of the Lord Almighty came to me: 5 “Ask all the people of the land and the priests, ‘When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months for the past seventy years, was it really for me that you fasted? 6 And when you were eating and drinking, were you not just feasting for yourselves? 7 Are these not the words the Lord proclaimed through the earlier prophets when Jerusalem and its surrounding towns were at rest and prosperous, and the Negev and the western foothills were settled?’”

This part struck me the most because, though I have come across cases such as this, where I would question my own intention as to the things that I was doing at that time, I never considered it to be applicable in daily life. We talk a lot about how we can't be Sunday Christians (Being a Christian and child of God on Sunday and come Monday to Saturday, we become little "devils") and how we should act to be children of God on a daily basis but how often do we think about the things we do daily. For instance, when we wake up in the morning, do we say that we want to dedicate our day to Him? Or do we simply carry on the busy schedules that we have without giving it a thought? 

Unfortunately, I am guilty of this because I don't wake up, thinking "GOD!" I wake up thinking, "What's for Breakfast?" But I think this is something that needs to be done because when we say that we dedicate our lives to Him, it means a simple thing like saying a prayer such as"God, I entrust the day to you!" 

Often, we think, oh we have accepted Christ into our hearts, we believe He has died for us at the Cross and yet, we don't act like we do. That first time we accepted, it felt great. It felt warm. It felt awesome to know a Wonderful God. Everything after that goes downhill. Then we backslide and we come to the realisation, through a crisis or a bad situation, that we need God and we have drifted from Him. Again, that warm feeling comes back OVER AND OVER AND OVER. There isn't anything wrong with that feeling but it is wrong when we seek it for an indication of God's Work. He works everywhere and every moment.

I think the important thing for us is to continually reflect on where we stand in our Faith. Not everytime we face some form of trouble. God is not Santa. He doesn't work like that. It is meant to be a relationship.

And I think the most important question to ask daily is:

Do we truly dedicate our days to Him?

The Day for Fathers

In the last 17 years, I don't think I have ever done a write-up or reflection of any form when it comes to Fathers' Day or Mothers' Day for that matter. But I thought it would be apt to write one.

My father was always strict on my brother and I. He was a no nonsense kind of guy and he raised both my brother and I using every strict means possible. I found my naughty and mischievous self always getting scolded or caned by him. I will always remember that I would try to hide the canes as we probably had around 8 canes strategically placed all around the house and 1 in the car. In the end, he would resort to using belts and rulers to exact his punishment which was inarguably much worst than the thin wooden cane. Yet, all this punishments and caning was necessary for me since I was a stubborn child who wouldn't listen. He always found creative ways to make sure teach me a lesson. Once, he brought me to the Police Station because I had used my Mother's Paypal account to pay for Online Credits for a game without her permission. He made me pack a few clothes, some towels, a bottle of soap and shampoo and drove me all the way to the Clementi Police Station in order to teach me a lesson. This will be one of the few experiences which I will never ever forget. Last year, we discussed this incident and he explained to me why he did that; he never wanted me to steal ever again and wanted to ensure that the incident would teach me that very lesson. And it did. It was traumatising and yet, effective. He did what was right and appropriate to teach me something I would never learn in the same way through a different method.

Well, that happened when I was 10 years old. When I moved onto Secondary School, it was a whole new set of problems which he faced with me. One of which was my lack of focus especially in the area of my studies. I often tried to take the shortest cut by doing minimal work and spending more time playing. Instead of completing my homework or studying, I would prefer to play first and do work after. He often needed to step in and intervene to ensure that I would put in my best work. This all went on until I hit Secondary 4 when I took my O Levels. 

Then, his parenting style changed. He was no longer strict or firm with me. Instead, he let me roam free, allowed me to decide for myself how I wanted to live my own life. And his rationale: He couldn't continue to clamp down on my life because it was my life to live and it was mine to be responsible for. He couldn't impose his personal beliefs on my life because it was mine to live. 

In the last 2 years, I probably learnt the most from him. He showed me what it meant to be a strong, firm but compassionate Christian. He showed me love that felt somewhat similar to that of the Lord's and he never failed to be there when I most needed him. 

He was constantly filled with so much wisdom; he also gave me invaluable advice in approaching different situations in life and most importantly, he raised me to be a Child of God. He made sure that I live out a life which would honour God. We would constantly have debates over certain everyday Christian issues and we always stood on opposite sides. Often, there would be no clear winner. But every debate meant a fresh perspective. And every perspective, a new lesson. Most importantly, he allowed me to do the things I wanted. He never said that I had to be a doctor or made me pursue one kind of "successful" path. All he required of me was to do my very best. In the excellence he expected, he first showed me his true excellence, not just in his daily work but also in the other areas of service in his life (Sermons, BB, Other Boards,etc.)

He never expected/expects much from me except to give of my very best in the things that I did/do. Beyond any reasonable doubt, the Lord has truly worked through a simple-minded but yet sophisticated human being, my father. Happy Fathers' Day!

We rarely get photos together. It's either one with the whole family or one with Mum.

P.S. This article is not meant to be my way of saying thank you because this article just doesn't cut it. It is more of a reflection for me to see who and what God has blessed me with. He will see this article later :)

Thinking back about the Old BB Days

I do not consider myself old. Neither do I think that I'm experienced in my service of the Boys' Brigade. However, thinking back about the days in Secondary School helped me to see how much I have changed since the time I entered the Boys' Brigade. 

My first Character Quest Competition back in 2006 (Juniors' Programme)

As Eric, Timothy, Kevin, Jireh and myself met for dinner last Friday, we talked about the days when we were difficult boys to handle (just me and Tim or just me) and how we have come so far from the whiny little boys we were. Yet, as I looked back and saw all these things and realised things I never knew, I remembered the article I wrote when I received the Founders' Award in Secondary 4. 

“No good journey is completed without failure”. After reflecting about my journey in the Boys Brigade thus far, I can still remember the bittersweet moments in my journey.

I started my BB Journey 8 years back, back in 33J sponsored by Fairfield Methodist Primary School. I had a lot of fun when I entered the Junior Programme and I can still remember the annual campfires and many activities that I had gone through in the Primary School. I was appointed the Chief Leading Boy of 33J. Through all the glitz and glamour, I would never forget the officers who were all so nice to the boys.

I moved up the ranks into the Seniors Programme and continued my journey in the Boys’ Brigade as I felt like it was the “rite of passage” that most BB Boys would take. My brother was a respected Warrant Officer and held a key position in 33^rd Singapore Company, sponsored by Fairfield Methodist Secondary School. My father was the Vice-President of the Brigade then and currently the President of the Boys’ Brigade in Singapore. I felt like it was an obligation to join the Boys’ Brigade since my family mainly consisted of BB Members. During the CCA Selection, I chose Squash as my second CCA but deep in my heart, it felt like a ‘back-up’ CCA in case I did not like the Boys’ Brigade.

When I first entered the Boys’ Brigade in my first parade, I felt really comfortable because I largely knew most of the other members there since most if not all came from the Primary School. I felt very welcomed since my leaders knew my brother and it felt good to be acknowledged by both officers and seniors. My first year in the Seniors’ Programme went by quickly.  My batch went through camps after camps, parades after parades and drills after drills. We thoroughly enjoyed it.

However, in Secondary 2, I started to lose interest because it was the transitioning period for leaders where a new team of leaders would lead us and we had really grown close with our first batch of leaders. Our new leaders did things differently and I really disliked it. I was at the brink of quitting my CCA when our level officer, Mr. Eric Chiok, saw how our batch was doing and decided to spend a lot more time with us. He dedicated his free time to Saturday Study Sessions as it got closer to our Streaming Examinations as well as meals after parades. He really inspired me to stay on until at least the end of the year.

I was then encouraged by my squad leaders, family and peers to try out the position of a Company Orderly Sergeant. Furthermore, the Leadership Development Camp that everybody saw as a tekan camp honed my leadership skills. However, when we finished the camp, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and really saw a different side of myself. It was not a torture camp but instead, an important camp that helped to build up my confidence.

In Secondary 3, I was appointed Deputy Company Sergeant Major. I took up the role with great pride but at the same time, with great arrogance. I refused to listen to my committee and pushed away advice from my officers because I thought that my position meant great power. I only learnt of this ‘issue’ when I planned my very first Camp, the Passing Out Parade Camp, for the Recruits that I too, was in charge of. I had not delegated sufficient work to my committee members and the camp was disorganized and messy. It was a good experience for me, as I would have never found that quality out about myself if I were not given the opportunity to plan the camp.

My BB journey was not always smooth or easygoing. In fact, it was difficult and rigid but without all these complications provided by the Lord, I would have never become who I am today. I graduate from the Seniors’ Programme as a Warrant Officer, a Founders’ Men and most importantly, a boy who fears the Lord.

My encouragement to all those who have lost interest in BB; be Steadfast and persevere for the Lord has a plan for you. Do not be discouraged if you have met a big obstacle in your BB Journey. You may end up being somebody you never thought you would be. Alex Ferguson who recently retired after coaching one of the top teams in the Soccer World was a former member of the Boys’ Brigade and said “It was the teamwork and commitment of the boys that made the BB so special to me ... I still to this day have my Boys’ Brigade bible, I pray everyday and my Christian faith is so important.”

My BB Journey has not ended but for now, I have only the officers, primers, peers as well as my seniors to thank for all their guidance, patience and love they have shown us. Last but not least and most importantly, I have God to thank for providing such people in my life and for being there when I was down. It has indeed been a fruitful journey.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6 NIV

As I read it now, I realised that the things I wrote here were not who I said I became, back then in 2013. Yes, I identified my weaknesses and the things I learnt as a BB Boy in Secondary School but identifying them was one thing, working and knowing how to overcome these challenges were another. For instance, I understood that I was a difficult person to work with. Yet, it never occurred to me to actually work on it. And this was how, my additional 2 years serving in the Primers Programme made it all the more fulfilling. 

In 2013, my brother was awarded the Presidents' Award for Primers. Back then, my father was the Vice-President for the Boys' Brigade.

I made it my goal to be just like him, to attain the award, the same prestige he got when I finished my "career" as a BB Boy. This made my Primers Journey extremely focused on attaining that one goal. I was so determined that it became an unhealthy obsession.

Just before the interview for the award, I shared on Facebook that I had broken down because I was giving myself second thoughts, not just about my intentions and my reasons but also about the outcome and the uncertainty of the result. God did show me a way and He got me to take my mind off the award. He showed me that there was no need to prove myself as an individual, to make myself more special because in the beginning, He loved me first and He died for me. That was the identity that He wanted to create in me. Not some award winner (Not that there was anything wrong with it). He taught me that, despite the fear I had in relation to my intention and all that, He showed me not to fear and keep moving. He showed me that thinking too much about my own intention was pride in its own way (in wanting to seem humble).

Now, all this was finally affirmed by the photos which were taken of me in Secondary School, where there wasn't much to prove, except to give of the very best, in enjoying the experience and making the best out of every step of the journey.

As I receive the award in the month ahead, I know that this is, but one of the many stages and experiences I will ever go through and there will be more to learn, more to experience and even more lives to be changed in the process of the journey of Life which My Heavenly Father has blessed me with.

The Appreciation of Domestic Help

I chanced upon an article posted on Facebook entitled "Marifel: the woman who left her children behind to look after mine" As I was reading this article, it made me reflect about my own domestic helper who has been part of our family for almost 15 years. She has basically been with us ever since we came back to Singapore from the United States.

My family has moved from hall to hall, perhaps 3 times in the last 15 years. Each time, my parents would have a responsibility of taking care of the students of the hall we were living in. (This made my childhood interesting, living amongst and interacting with 20 year old students) This meant that my parents would try to prepare food, suppers and other snacks for the students during University Events or even having a small group of students over for a Christmas Dinner. Most of the time, my domestic helper would be the one preparing the food, learning some of the recipes my parents have been using for many years and then executing the cooking required. Sometimes, she would spend her off days (Sundays and Saturdays) to prepare for these meals so that my parents can focus on other pressing matters at work or at home. This sacrifice often went unnoticed but I realised it as I was reflecting about it. I saw how she would probably spend perhaps 10 off days a year in order to help out with the food (off days would eventually be replaced but that meant her plans with her friends would have to be postponed or rearranged).

On top of these off days, she was always the one to clean up after my brother and I. I must admit that my parents are pretty neat and rarely do they require any cleaning up. My brother and I are a whole different issue altogether. Often, we would leave our sleeping clothes on the floor because we need to rush out of the house for school or because we were simply too lazy. (Admittedly, my brother is more disorganised than I am) Yet, she would consistently pick up after us with occasional but justified frustration which we would shrug off all the time.

Maria Teresa Fernandez Aboy, my domestic helper would wake up at 6am in the morning in order to wake me up in time for school. I must say that one of the reasons that I have never been late for school is because she never fails to wake up at such an ungodly hour (respect to those who wake up at 5am) and prepare breakfast as well as prepare my School uniform. Many Singaporean children would have such an experience and yet, all these acts went unnoticed for a majority of our lives as students.

All these instances of small sacrifices are things I used to consider part of her job scope. But no, it is not her "job" to wake up at 530am in the morning, or to sacrifice her off days or to clean up after hard-to-cope-with boys (aka my brother and I). She has taught me a few things about being a loving person. She showed me things which I never really saw until opportune reflections were done.

I am constantly reminded through the Bible that I need to love my neighbours as myself and yet I never considered her a neighbour even though she stayed under the same roof as I did. 

To end off this post, I remembered asking my parents why we never brought our helper out to join us for our birthday dinners and celebrations and my mother's answer was one that truly struck me. She never accepted the offer we gave to her. She never jumped on such "opportunities". She never needed  to be shown such appreciation in this manner because she saw it as her 'job.'

It doesn't take much to thank her and yet, I have always found it difficult to say thank you. I hope not to use this blog post as my way of saying thank you but as a reminder for who and what I have been truly blessed with my whole life by the Father who truly loves me. 

P.S. A post for my parents would be done up on another day but for now, I leave you with this post. I do not have a photo of her at present but one day, when I do get it, I will post it up:)

Revival!

It has been some time since my last blog post. I found my old post rather childish and decided that this blog be used for good. I always thought Facebook would be sufficient but I realised that this would probably be a better platform for sharing opinions as well as personal struggles:)

I realised that the past few weeks have been rather uneventful and in its own way, it was great that it turned out that way. However, I felt God's silence or rather, felt that I wasn't listening closely. It was during my walk out to Rail Mall for lunch today which felt more like God's way of whispering to me. I never really feel God shouting at me because I mean, He honestly doesn't need to. He speaks to us in so many different ways and yet, we miss out on what there is for us to listen to.

At the same time, I just got the Book 'Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life' by Henri Nouwen as part of our Bible Study Book topic. I am half way through the first chapter and I feel that some of the things which were mentioned in the book seemed rather obvious; for instance, I know that having some solitude is vital in our walk with God. But I think a lot of the things they write in the book are rather skin deep. A lot of things talk about what we should do instead of how we should do it. I guess I have my doubts because I probably started reading the book but I guess I am discovering more things and learning to apply more of what I already know, into my daily spiritual life. I guess this book serves as a reminder and acts to scream at me the things which I should take notice of, but already know.

Let me leave you with this song which I will be leading for Worship in 2 weeks time. Simply love this song!

'Tis so sweet to Trust in Jesus

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;