It was one of the most straining weeks I have had in the year, and yet, I could feel the Lord truly working in my life and guiding me through.
Allow me to explain the events which have occurred:
I led worship for the very first time for Youth Sunday and it was an interesting experience and it allowed me to take the time off studying and preparing for Mid Years to truly focus on God and the experiences that came with my every day life. After that, it was back to preparing for Mid Years. After Mid Years, on Wednesday, the remainder of my family returned from USA.
The last week was interesting because of only one reason. I tried to live my life differently for the week. I promised myself that, everyday, I would start the day by praying in the morning, ensuring that I would dedicate the day to the Lord and remember that no matter the events of the day, good or bad, I would be able to honour Him. I did so because after typing out my previous blog post, I realised it was time to follow through with the things which I talked about. As such, I made a conscious effort to dedicate each day to the Lord before it started. But this made me think, why did I have to make a "conscious effort" to dedicate it to the Lord? What was stopping me from making it a priority so that was something that was a "thought of the week" kind of thing.
Next, we move onto Mid Years. As usual, any Exam for me has always been disastrous for me. I have never come out of any Secondary School/ JC Exam thinking: "Oh Yeah! Definitely A" However, the examination this time felt different. Besides the fact that this was probably one of the hardest examinations I have ever taken (Let's not harp on it any longer), it was probably one of the most "comforting" examinations I have ever taken. Not the paper. Definitely. It was how I took the papers. It truly felt like God was guiding me every step of the way. He never told me that I would definitely get the A but the thing which resonated in my mind throughout the 3 days were,"I will be with you". I was fine with that. It meant that I would probably not get the best grades, or may even be required to go for extra classes but it showed me that through it all, He was with me. I don't think that magical A Grades will suddenly appear if I don't put my best into it (Not that it won't happen. Just. Unlikely). But regardless of the result, I know that He was with me. I have started to show my frustration with my results when my Math Teacher made us redo our Math Paper in class on Friday (Despite not even getting the paper back) but I guess, it's time to be a little more thankful rather than angry with the circumstances.
And then, it all ended with Parade and Bible Study on Friday. I was supposed to go back to pick up something from one of my Boys (my friends find this weird because it sounds odd) and to my surprise, he gave me a nice chocolate and a really thoughtful note. Allow me to give you the context: I was the Primer In Charge of his Batch (Secondary 4 Batch'15) and I was in charge of him as one of the batch members. I struggled in mentoring and guiding him because I was constantly over-aggressive, harsh and extremely unforgiving. And yet, yesterday, through his actions, he showed me a lot about what the BB has done for him despite all that has happened (Situation was rather complex). It reminded me why I was serving back in the BB and what compelled me to continue my journey and the reason was simple: I was changed spiritually, somewhat physically and emotionally through the whole programme and I wanted to give back.
After that, it was Bible Study and it was one of the most thought-provoking discussions we have had thus far. We are studying the Book of Discernment by Henri Nouwen and we talked about many things. We then went on to the topic of the Joy that we can find in the Lord. And I realised that, from Psalms 51: 12 which states:
This week wasn't easy. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. Praise the Lord!
Next, we move onto Mid Years. As usual, any Exam for me has always been disastrous for me. I have never come out of any Secondary School/ JC Exam thinking: "Oh Yeah! Definitely A" However, the examination this time felt different. Besides the fact that this was probably one of the hardest examinations I have ever taken (Let's not harp on it any longer), it was probably one of the most "comforting" examinations I have ever taken. Not the paper. Definitely. It was how I took the papers. It truly felt like God was guiding me every step of the way. He never told me that I would definitely get the A but the thing which resonated in my mind throughout the 3 days were,"I will be with you". I was fine with that. It meant that I would probably not get the best grades, or may even be required to go for extra classes but it showed me that through it all, He was with me. I don't think that magical A Grades will suddenly appear if I don't put my best into it (Not that it won't happen. Just. Unlikely). But regardless of the result, I know that He was with me. I have started to show my frustration with my results when my Math Teacher made us redo our Math Paper in class on Friday (Despite not even getting the paper back) but I guess, it's time to be a little more thankful rather than angry with the circumstances.
And then, it all ended with Parade and Bible Study on Friday. I was supposed to go back to pick up something from one of my Boys (my friends find this weird because it sounds odd) and to my surprise, he gave me a nice chocolate and a really thoughtful note. Allow me to give you the context: I was the Primer In Charge of his Batch (Secondary 4 Batch'15) and I was in charge of him as one of the batch members. I struggled in mentoring and guiding him because I was constantly over-aggressive, harsh and extremely unforgiving. And yet, yesterday, through his actions, he showed me a lot about what the BB has done for him despite all that has happened (Situation was rather complex). It reminded me why I was serving back in the BB and what compelled me to continue my journey and the reason was simple: I was changed spiritually, somewhat physically and emotionally through the whole programme and I wanted to give back.
After that, it was Bible Study and it was one of the most thought-provoking discussions we have had thus far. We are studying the Book of Discernment by Henri Nouwen and we talked about many things. We then went on to the topic of the Joy that we can find in the Lord. And I realised that, from Psalms 51: 12 which states:
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.I realised at that very point in time that much of sin in today's world is largely caused by the inability for us to find joy in the Lord. We seek popularity, sex, and many other worldly things to make up for the joy which we think is missing in our life and yet, in front of us, the joy of the Lord, of what He did at the cross, has been there the whole time. It was a great reminder for me.
This week wasn't easy. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. Praise the Lord!
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